a cheat sheet nonetheless

manners? ha!

2009-01-26T08:28:44Z

some people walk around with their nose up high, constantly passing mindless judgment. talking as if everyone else is inferior. nothing is more bothersome than a condascending tone.

year 25.

2008-11-11T22:21:02Z

my quarter life crisis, errr revelation starts now. six days short of my actual birthday. i need a clean slate.. rid myself of hangups, guilt, and most of all, insecurities. the second quarter of my life will be different.

a fortune cookie i ate over lunch said: "you will find luck in higher education." i agree. i think thats the perfect start..

grrrreat

2008-10-22T05:27:47Z

this weekend was great. sometimes running away from reality helps. woot.

...

2008-09-11T17:23:07Z

it comes to no surprise to me that i am, then and ever again, single. we were never in a fully committed relationship, but was in some sort of exciting little arrangement that didnt lead anywhere. and then there was the new guy: more potential than the other but an even greater amount of uncertainty. last night was when they both expired. and how funny that it all ended while i was having a few good laughs with good company. one guy after the other. its like i caused my own domino sequence.

the new guy was a lost cause to begin with.. i just never wanted to believe it. but about this arrangement i had with the other.. i dont know how to feel really. im oddly relieved, but im forcing myself to feel sad and disappointed just to feel normal i guess.. and mainly to assure myself that the time i put into it was not fully wasted. having something to miss will in turn make me feel like the arrangement i signed up for wasnt all to his advantage; that i actually truly enjoyed my time with him. but, nada. i dont feel a thing but relief, and its definitely not sitting well with me.

errnsunday @ 2008-08-28T23:52:00

2008-08-29T07:06:52Z

things are oddly familiar at the moment. not much difference from the arrangement i was in a couple of years ago. im not quite sure what im doing once again. things are fun. things are natural; sometimes a little too natural that it scares me. i want to be able to just roll with the punches, but the inner smart in me is worrisome. this isnt a situation i need to put myself through again. i wasnt too happy when it ended last. i doubt it will be any different this time around. what to do?

a girl can dream

2008-08-07T23:51:45Z

when i finally settle down, first order of business would be to add these two cuties to my life:

an exotic named bissou..

and a frenchie named klaus.

bissou bissou mes petits choux!

critical mass of (some) assholes

2008-08-05T23:04:22Z

i thought these reviews were interesting. i never realized how infamous this event / movement grew to be..

http://www.yelp.com/biz/critical-mass-san-diego-2

my inner poli sci geek would love to suggest that this could have easily been benjamin barber's favorite activity every last friday of the month. but no one would really get it. all geeky comments aside, this type of participatory politics is exactly what this country needs. from what i know, it all started in san francisco as an event to raise road safety awareness for the sake of all bikers. some have then taken it as an informal protest against rising gas prices. other cities then slowly caught on. it was a great way to mobilize a younger and normally indifferent and apathetic crowd.

but apparently in san diego, its now become about blocking traffic on the 94 freeway (come on now), ignoring stop lights and traffic signals, throwing beer bottles on the sidewalk, and not letting pedestrians pass. they undoubtedly meant well, they just attracted the wrong crowd.. douchebags. its always the ignorant over-zealous assholes that ruin it for everyone.

anarchy could be a good thing for movements such as this. but at this point, there needs to be some sort of structure. it only really takes one ballsy and persuasive individual to tell these idiots to either straighten up or kick rocks.

sigh of relief

2008-07-31T06:07:37Z

out with the old; in with the new. ive been keeping this secret from so many people for so long. today i'm coming clean. its part of my past now, and im starting to feel more comfortable telling the story.

december 11, 2007 was when i thought my life was over. a good friend was visiting, so there was something to celebrate on a monday night. i refrained from drinking excessively because i was the driver. any other night, i wouldn't have cared. i admit, i've driven in worse conditions before, but that night i felt i needed to be careful. ironically, on our way home, i was pulled over and later charged with driving under the influence. i was then thrown in a women's detention facility also known as filthy jail. i shared the cell with three prostitutes and some girl who actually deserved a dui. it was the longest five hours of my life. i was completely sober. it felt like an episode of "scared straight," and i have been on this roller coaster a la california legal system ever since. a pleading that was submitted in my case was shown to me. the caption: state of ca v. me. that was an awakening in and of itself.

today july 30, 2008, it all finally ended. i walked away still with some infringing sentence as penalty for my driving "under the influence," but i walked away redeemed and relieved. it was the best feeling i've felt in awhile. this long, arduous, worrisome process is now done. i can finally move on.

i understand my actions that december night were somewhat careless.. but i also defend that i was not acting out of complete irrationality and disregard for other's and my own safety. i blew below the legal limit. i was fine to drive. what is the point of having a legal standard when that "standard" is merely subjective and solely up to the (under-trained) officer on duty? my unfortunate luck permitted me to be in the wrong place at the worst possible time, and i was reprimanded for it. but i'm done. i am past talking about the specifics, and i'm over feeling cheated. i promised not to be bitter about this anymore. my focus will now be on living a new life sans all that happened, and learning from this twisted little life lesson. the past few months have dragged me down, and turned me into someone i do not like. but, realization and acceptance are the first baby steps, things are starting to look up from here.

one last peep for the day

2008-07-25T23:41:28Z

i'm strangely attracted to charlie of 'its always sunny in philadelphia.' on sunday, him and the cast of always sunny will be at comic con. there is no place i would rather be. but its a little too late to get tickets, and i don't like throwing money away. so i will be at sheila's triple b party in the lbc instead.

one of these days, charlie.. one sweet day.

'preciate

2008-07-25T23:25:39Z

appreciation is definitely something that increases with age. i've grown to realize that i've taken a lot of people and aspects in my life for granted. this is becoming more and more apparent as i get older and have to work hard for things that were normally hand fed and freely presented to me.

on that note, i would not have liked me if i met me a few years ago. i am so glad life has a clever way of putting things in perspective.

idealist

2008-07-23T05:20:57Z

when i'm feeling absolutely useless, lazy, and unhealthy all around.. i look up volunteer opportunities on idealist.org. i hate that i do this when i'm feeling lazy though, otherwise, i'd be in line to feed the homeless of san diego or teach unprivileged kids how to sew. in a heartbeat.

but, nope.

i have yet to volunteer my time to help better mankind. although, i feel good knowing that one of these days, i will. is that enough?

girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl.

2008-07-02T21:37:14Z

everyone is getting on my nerves. hormones, dont fail me now..

the thing is

2008-06-09T21:59:11Z

my boss purchased colored paper for the office. i now think i might be slightly neurotic. what do i do? i deliberately organize the colored paper in rainbow form.. roygbiv. red orange yellow green blue indigo, nope no indigo, violet. it bugs me that we dont have indigo colored paper so im contemplating on asking my boss to get some. we'll never use it, but when do we ever use any of the other colors anyway? the day she caves is when ill finally be content. i've been uneasy for about a week now. i sit here desperately trying to avoid the copy room because i know i'll have to succumb to the incomplete rainbow. im freakin losing it!!

as logically as i could, ive hypothesized that maybe this is all due to:

a. best friend coming to visit in a couple of weeks. its the anticipation thats killing me. i dont know what to do with my free time til he gets here (im hoping this is it);

b. im simply going crazy. ill be first in my bloodline to add insanity to our list of family health problems;

c. i need a new hobby, may it be a person or activity;

d. my 2-3/night 'night caps' have caught up to me;

e. i need to get on this job hunting business.
...

bb

2008-05-29T07:31:20Z

p.s. i should be expecting a fun little visit from my favorite person very soon! i dont know what do with myself. i feel like i'm two.

errnsunday @ 2008-05-28T23:26:00

2008-05-29T07:22:30Z

"there's one thing i want to say, so i'll be brave. you were what i wanted, i gave what i gave. im not sorry i met you, i'm not sorry its over. im not sorry there's nothing to save."

intensity & needlessly emotional lyrics at its best. if my heart was broken from a shitty breakup or something similar, i would be singing this (on repeat) while driving aimlessly around my neighborhood. melodrama helps me cope. but its not necessary now, and i'm happily happy.. strangely. this is one of my favorites, but i hope i never have to sing it and mean what it says.

tonight is the night to be cheesy. i took the most intoxicating yoga class just a few hours ago. i felt relaxed, almost listless yet energized.. and drunk. i'm not exaggerating. we did some silent chanting and light breathing at the very end, and when i opened my eyes i had a hard time focusing my vision and felt extremely good about everything. as if the instructor was reading my mind, he said he hoped we were all okay to drive home. i laughed silently in my head, similar to how we did our chanting.. at that moment i realized how much i loved doing yoga.

i finished and performed all the poses well. we were introduced to some advanced poses and i managed to hold them down. not too bad, i must say. i was genuinely proud of myself.. something i'm shameful to say rarely happens. more importantly, i was proud that throughout the class my mind was focused on appreciation rather than catharsis. i normally go to yoga more religiously during periods of stress and i use it as a way to release all the tension.. main reason why i stopped doing kundalini yoga. theres something about chanting and singing that makes me annoyingly emotional. thank god the instructor would give us a few minutes of dimmed lighting after the class to compose ourselves. well, i think i'm one of the few who actually used that time to compose themselves, and wipe a few tears in hopes that no one noticed. i hate crying in public.. even in front of people i know. but yes, tonight was different. it was a great class. i didnt feel relief in the end, instead i felt happier about the things and people that already make me happy.

now, how this all relates to the first two paragraphs, im not too sure. i just wanted to document this rare moment of guiltless joy before i forget it all happened. good night.

classic

2008-05-16T23:42:43Z

"you have the ability to make me look like an idiot!"
- kind words from wdh to jls.

thank you for the enlightenment/entertainment. i love work.

foot in my mouth

2008-04-10T21:27:29Z

im such an asshole sometimes.

errnsunday @ 2008-04-08T14:48:00

2008-04-08T22:03:43Z

i've come to the realization that work is the main reason why i've been such a mess lately. well, i've known this fact for a very long time, but lately its just been getting worse. feeling under-appreciated but over-qualified at the same time is not a good mixture.. not to mention, noticing how unfair the work distribution is in the office. i've managed to convince myself that this is a good learning experience (and this notion has helped me to get by), but i've only lied to myself this whole time. things i do at work are things i don't need to know or learn about. useless shit that some high school part-timer can perfect in one short shift. this isn't what i went to school for, and this is not what i'll be doing for the rest of my life.

on a brighter note: i'm not one to just complain and not budge.. well, maybe once in a while. so ive done a little searching and found a few things of interest. let the job hunting begin!

errnsunday @ 2008-04-02T00:59:00

2008-04-02T08:16:02Z

there are certain people, well, one particular person that i miss. madly. its pathetic, i cant even own up to it.. a simple phone call, but i wont bring myself to do it. im too proud; extremely stubborn. whats the point anyway? its been done, never really was. now the person is too far to even make an effort.

sad, i even procrastinate with things that deal with real life. i thought i only had this problem at school. if only i said it when it mattered, when he was right in front of me.

lack of sleep and an inability to do so make things so much more tragic than they really are.

commentary.

2008-03-25T21:42:21Z

i guess some things are more interesting with commentary. concrete example: jodorowsky's holy mountain. i dare you to watch it with closed caption commentary. he's crazy, and way more interesting than the movie itself.

if only i had james earl jones doing my day-to-day commentary. i would be much more amused with my life. it would even give me some insight on how to get out of this god forsaken rut. i need a change of pace, venue, scenery, circle... the list goes on. and on. and on...

so i say

2008-03-11T18:07:43Z

i want to learn portugese. i did, somehow.. i now know how to introduce myself. i figured it would be useful.

some months later. he's brazilian. we have identical bikes. his black; mine white. second, he's the guy that does yoga. third, he speaks portugese. i was impressed. so i say lets have a beer. i bump into him. the night starts slow, ends extremely well. start with cheap beer. conversations we all appreciate. try to be witty. i was impressed.

he then says that was fun. lets hang out in the future.
so he says.

new life perspective, thanks to the 2

2008-02-20T01:29:46Z

It all started as an innocent ploy to start living more "green-ly." I couldn't see recycling an empty wine bottle every now and then as being sufficient. I felt I needed something more drastic; something which would be a daily practice. My first attempt, one that selfishly inflicted the least hassle to my everyday life.. taking the bus to work. That was the idea. One minute step at a time. The least hassle. Public transit. I was wrong.

My adventures on the 2, the short 12-15 minutes each trip, have all ultimately modified my perspective on life and such. To be exact, they have helped me to see things more lightly. Not because they've been good; but the precise, exact, unending contrary.

Lately, it has actually been somewhat disgusting (a homeless man sitting a couple of rows in front of me, with pretty conspicuous stains on his pants, which I can only imagine were stained by the worst possible thing to possibly stain one's pants -- which then made me wonder who had been on the seat I currently was sitting on);

somewhat disturbing (a close brawl/possible shooting or stabbing involving what I presume to be a schizophrenic man and a hobo standing right next to me, in a really crowded bus on a rainy Monday night);

and somewhat peculiar (almost being maliciously pushed into oncoming traffic, while waiting for the bus, by a blind "English" man with an unmistakably fake-sounding English accent -- in fact, I'm almost positive it was fake).

As miserable as these stories may be, I continue to be a content passenger on public transit. I get off the bus knowing it was all temporary; things can only get better. And I'm happy.

cinco

2007-05-07T17:43:18Z

just when i thought i could handle my liquor, and i've grown into a trooper, whiskey decides to kick me in the ass.. ultimately ruining my street cred (or whatever what was left of it). may 5, 2007 should not have been be this insane.. i'm still unsure as to what i was celebrating. this i say as a psa to the three people that may or may not read this.. stay away from massive amounts of hard 90-proof liquor, especially when you know you'll be in the company of some friends, but plenty of strangers. im sure some girls can drink most men under the table.. but ladies, stay away from drinking duals with guys. you'll likely find yourself stumbling home, one arm hanging on to a good friend, while your male counterpart successfully plays a video game at a nearby taco shop. life can be so unfair!

i woke up the next morning with an overbearing feeling of regret and head-numbing nausea, which were then validated by stories of the crazy night that i will never remember. i had misconceptions of who i was interacting with, not to mention, who i was. that night i was a raging frat boy. at one point pestering some guy whom i clearly knew was spoken for. i don't have a single recollection of my actions that night. i'm glad i never will. although, thanks to the wonder of photographs, i was reminded of how messy drunken cinco de mayo parties can be. or better put, of how messy i can be at theme parties. i'll be discrete and only post two.. the others i'm still not ready to look through myself. look at them and learn from this. nothing about it is pretty.

andy is a great friend for still being my friend after that night.

germs

2007-04-09T23:51:26Z

work blows when youre sick. when i'm sick. ive been sick for two weeks now, this sars still doesnt want to leave. its really cramping my style.

smee valley

2007-04-09T05:49:58Z

easter games eggapalooza(ha thats an add in. we're not that lame) 07 was fun, as expected. i have the best family, not to mention cousins, a twenty-three year-old could ever have! i really do.

spiderman-esque pose competition.

anteater

groupies

yeah yeah.. i have to say it, team captain of the year.

the real winning team.

the default winners, plus captain jeff santos from the real winning team

footloose, or just gay?

flying competition.

i can't think of a better way to spend easter.